Though it may be fast food, all things considered, there’s almost no need to hurriedly wolf down your Friskies in the car, when you can just sit, take in the atmosphere, and chow down at your own mellow pace. Seeing as I’m apparently “the guy who eats and also writes,” I’d heard about Cook Door’s new dine in service; and because I do my absolute best trying to avoid responsibility (except my job because I’m afraid), I decided to give their new approach a go.

Gone are the days of having to jump over folks to get my order in at the counter; I just plopped myself down and proper and an incandescent server came to table of choice, usually the one next to the window because I enjoy watching people toil away at life. I decided to try their Burg d’Jour and waited patiently, as I took in the decadent ambiance of their fine dining experience. Apparently, they have a legit Beinsports subscription going on, making my wait that much more interesting, and in a few minutes, my culinary creation had arrived; an intricately deconstructed, reconstructed (and then reconstructed again for good measure) grilled Burgoire (that’s fancy for burger), with a sinfully creamy black pepper reduction, unyieldingly crunchy onion rings, authentic cheddar cheese (the cheese of kings), all ensconced in a luscious artisanal bun. A good meal doesn’t go well without an accompanying beverage, so I opted for a classic boisson non- alcoolisée du Cola, circa 2018 (a séminal vintage); of which I had near-infinite free refills.

Presented to my personage on a robust set of dining wear, along with a side of pomme-frites a la fried (I took french in high school) and a complimentary sauce au fromage for my dipping pleasure. The patty was, as per my specifications, medium rare, or as the French call it, Le Medium de Rare, The bite was almost sensual in its prowess, and along with my vintage of choice, made my assumedly fast experience a relaxed gourmet experience. But alas ; I had to evacuate the premises due to my whole « having a job » thing, and as I called for my gentleman to lay on me L’addition (French for funny money) so I may be on may way, and seeing as only vagabonds and the noveau riche pay with physical currency (quelle dommage), I relied on my coveted Visa to do my dealings, and I was pleasantly surprised to find my server coming with POS machine, making my parting with my not-so-hard-earned salary that much more emotional.

Truly, the new Cook Door has now become a classical outing of its own design, and I am nothing if not honest in my reviews ; I am touched. Bien joué, Porte de Cuisson, bien joué.