Summer is around the corner and if you’re a female who dwells in the hellhole that Egypt becomes in the summer, then there are a million and one things you’re dreading about the coming season. Aside from the litres of sweat that drench your clothing from merely swivelling your arms or climbing a flight of stairs (gasp!), here’s a list and six summer lady problems that your male counterparts just won’t understand.

Humid Hair Hell

‘But guys have hair, too!’ Blah blah blah. Do guys carve out an entire evening before an important date during the summer to wash, condition, dry and style their hair only to walk out of the house and instantly look like Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries? As Egyptian women, our hair already has a natural frizz, we really don’t need the extra humidity infused frizz, too. 

Removing unwanted body hair ALL DAY EVERYDAY

Summertime in Egypt requires us to spend at least one entire month in Sahel or on a coast of some sort, or else did we really sayef? We’re in shorts, we’re in bikinis, and we want to have silky, smooth, and shiny skin. But our unwanted body hair (and the world) is against us.

If we wax, we have to wait 7 years in between waxes so the hair is long enough for us to rip off again - not to mention 7alawa in Egypt is extra messy in the hot weather. Just shave, you say? Sure, there are some brilliant razors out there, but the reality is that you're incredibly lazy to keep up with the frequency of shaving. But again there’s always the third option of epilating. Something like the Braun Silk-Epil 9 can work well. It removes the shortest of hairs so you don’t have to serve that gorilla-waiting phase before removing the hair again. You can even use it under the shower to significantly minimise the pain… Or take it into the ocean with you if you run out of time in the morning; no one will know.

That Hijabi Tan Line

This one is all for the hijabi mamas. Tanning is all well and good for the non-hijabis who are more likely to tan evenly, but when YOU tan - and not even tan; just hang out on the beach or anywhere where Egypt's mutant strong sun shines - you get this lovely circular outline on the parameters of your face, as if you put on tape to perfect a paint job. Or even like you tried some reverse contouring. 

And if you like to wear your hijab turban style, it then looks like you were pressed in the face by a hot triangular iron. Charming. All of the sunscreen in the world won’t salvage your infortunes now.

The Melting Make Up Mess

Summer or not, women are always expected to look on fleek, and because we’re majestic creatures, our make up always has to be perfected. For achieve this result, we recommend you forget the black eyeliner, because that ends up giving you sweaty panda eyes. Forget the mascara as well because the humidity will leave it in a flaky mess. And don’t even think about filling in your eyebrows because the second you start to sweat, your left eyebrow will drip down to your jaw and everyone will know you have bald brows. Just avoid make up, we’re sorry.

Mouldy Jewellery Stripes

Keeping up with summer time fashion is super fun, creative, and also super annoying. You may have picked the perfect swimsuit with the perfect bohemian throw over so you look, you know, trendy and hip for the beach or whatever. You also pair matching thumb and index finger mood rings – which weren’t easy to find by the way - along with a golden leaf chain draping around your neck. You’re bohemian AF right now. Flashback to reality (do not break into Eminem, please) and after a couple hours of a good time, your lovely accessories have rusted onto you leaving a very unappealing mouldy green print on your skin. Well that was a waste.

Bikini Throw Over Imprint

Speaking of beach fashion and throw overs, aren’t they supposed to be used as a fashionable body cover for when you finish your swim? For some reason they just absorb the water from your bikini and leave you with these damp circles around your cleavage that the throw over has decided to cling onto. You have the same ones around your butt, too. Thank you, useless supposedly-trendy-throw-over.

Main photo: CairoZoom

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